★ R A D !

I'm getting more and more afraid. Telling myself to move on and not give a hoot shit about everything that is revolving around me seems to be quite impossible. Trying to break this chain of dependance seems even more far-fetched. Is detachment the only way out for me? Like an isolation period. My thoughts are scattered. Probably... I don't even know what I'm refering to right now. But seeing what she wrote scares me... a lot. The possible thought of what she might be indicating, gives me the shiver. Call it my personal insecurities, or maybe I'm just reading too much, or maybe it's today that I just happen to feel emotionally needy. Whatever it is, I'm scared.

Emotionally needy. Since when did I become so emotionally needy? Emotionally insecure? Emotionally selfish?

Very often and I can't really trace back since when it started, I realised I'll be lost in my own thoughts. Locked up in my own world. Thoughts that are so over-whelming but I can't seem to talk about them to anyone around me. The words just don't flow out no more. It kills me sometimes, but then again I feel violated when someone trys to enter my world of thoughts. Intruding, worse still when they try to break it down for me or give opinions about what they think. I don't need that. Honestly, I don't. That's when I start building up my walls. I was told, behind those walls sits a very vunerable and lonely little girl. Haha. Maybe it true but that's an opinion that I have yet to accept. Denial? So be it.

So... I wasn't thinking too much. It's what I thought it was. After so many years, that tripping stone is still there. This just tells us, unless you get rid of it, no matter how far down the road you have walked away, you'll turn back and still see it at a distance. And as the proverb says 'the curiosity kills the cat', one day, upon seeing the stone at a distance, all the memories though vague starts urging you to walk back and pick it up. And that's the turning point, I suppose we call it regret. Matters without proper closure are more prone to that I believe. Just like hers now. And... I can't comment.

What am I scared off? The turning point upon picking the stone and everything that follows on...

cheryl..♥

11 november.
idealistic.
a walking contradiction.
50% anal, 50% cynical.

random thought..♥

And that's just how it goes.

loves..♥

all time bestie michelle.o (:
being alone.
cherry gummies.
"smelly" blankey.

fanices..♥

blythe.
fashion.
vintage.
rilakkuma.
live bands.
indie music.
lomography.
scuba diving.

hippies..♥

a c ♥
a l v i n ♥
e i l e e n ♥
g l e n ♥
j e e ♥
j e r e m y ♥
j o e e ♥
j o l y n ♥
m a n r u ♥
m b s 9 8♥
m e e j u a n ♥
m e l i s s a ♥
m i c h e l l e ♥
m y l e n e ♥
n a n a ♥
r i c h ♥
r o z y ♥
s h e e l a ♥
y i n g y i n g ♥
z h a o y u a n ♥

credits..♥

layout: lyricaltragedy
icon: threemoresteps
inspiration: fruitstyle