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Thursday, October 2
- I'm the fool.
I've been thinking... I can't help but feel that I've made a big mistake. And things turned out this way because of my own foolishness. My fault. All the crap that I did. I should have gave him the time he needed right? Though it was killing me at that point of time to just wait on without any idea how long he was going to take. My childish thinking that bringing some shithead there would evoke some sense of urgency in him. Hah. What was I thinking. I felt so terrible after that night. And till today, the thought of what I did makes me feel like crap. I can't breath each time I think of the possibility that I've hurt him somehow. My heart aches. I didn't know that the past relationship hurt him so much. He never mentioned. So I turned out to be the ignorant one. How dumb. I lay on my bed the whole day, thinking and reflecting. Reading the messages over and over again. Crying. Falling asleep. Crying... and then falling asleep again. And suddenly, it strike me, though he didn't give me any answer all these while, he has been caring for me with his own ways somehow. And I have to go ruin everything. I can't believe it took me so long to realise it. I guess I was so selfish with my own thoughts that I didn't really seat down and think about it at all. But... I guess it's over now. No matter what happens, I'll just have to move on.And I will. We only learn to cherish what we have when we lose it. Now I can say I truely understand this phrase. At first, I was confused. But after what had happen, it made me realise, deep down how important he was to me. And how much I have liked him. Funny to come to think about it. How long I have lied to myself and how I was unwillingly to face that fact till now. Somehow, God made it this way that we all have to learn the hard way, isn't it? |
 cheryl..♥
11 november.idealistic. a walking contradiction. 50% anal, 50% cynical. random thought..♥
And that's just how it goes.loves..♥
all time bestie michelle.o (:being alone. cherry gummies. "smelly" blankey. fanices..♥
blythe.fashion. vintage. rilakkuma. live bands. indie music. lomography. scuba diving. hippies..♥
a c ♥a l v i n ♥ e i l e e n ♥ g l e n ♥ j e e ♥ j e r e m y ♥ j o e e ♥ j o l y n ♥ m a n r u ♥ m b s 9 8♥ m e e j u a n ♥ m e l i s s a ♥ m i c h e l l e ♥ m y l e n e ♥ n a n a ♥ r i c h ♥ r o z y ♥ s h e e l a ♥ y i n g y i n g ♥ z h a o y u a n ♥ credits..♥
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