★ R A D !

i carry your heart with me

2009-06-20T12:28:00.002+08:00

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear
no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Mich Love :)

2009-04-21T21:38:00.001+08:00

Health important tips:
*. Dont take huge meals after 5pm.
*.Drink more water in the morning, less water at night.
*.Dont take medicine with cold water.
*. Dont laydown immedietly after taking medicine.
*. Best sleeping time is from 10pm to 4am.
*. Pls answer the phone by left ear.
*. When phone battery is down to last bar, dont answer the phone, as the radiation is 1000 times more!

Please forward this to people you care about. kindness cost nothing..

I feel your loving Mich. -Loves-
:)

My birthday month.

2009-03-16T23:26:00.001+08:00

Has lots of extraordinary ideas. Difficult to fathom. Think forward. Unique. Brilliant. Sharp thinking. Fine, strong clairvoyance. make good doctors. Dynamic. Secretive. Inquisitive. Know how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative. amiable. Brave. generous. Patient. Stubborn. hardhearted. Determined. Never quit. Hardly become angry unless provoked. Love to be alone. Think differently. Sharp-minded. Motivate self. Doesn't appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built, tough. Deep love, emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest. Keeps secrets. Cant control emotions. Unpredictable.

Break, Broke, Broken.

2009-02-26T17:21:00.003+08:00

I am going to be so broke for the month of March.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Not that it's something new. Hah. But this time around, the money spent is not going towards the stuff I want to get. It's going towards the pressie fund. Sally's 21st. Dirty girl's 22nd. Alvin's 23rd. Whatmore they're all people close to the heart. So yeahh. As Sally puts it - it's the thoughts that count but... how much you invest in the present determines the value of me in your heart. ERMMMMM. Times like this just makes it so tempting to _____ her. HAHA. So, truely, there's not a need for me to be looking forward to 1st March. Practically all the GST package funds will be channeled into present buying. Hmmm. I'm boosting the economy at the same time, aren't I.
HAHA. Crapp.

break, Broke, Broken,

2009-02-26T17:20:00.001+08:00

Arsehole (Heh) :D

2009-02-18T22:11:00.003+08:00

"If I think about it more, plenty of embarassing and painful situations come to mind, and I know that even if I had said goodbye to my memory of ... , I had not overcome it. Never to let myself be humiliated or humiliate myself after ... , never to take guilt upon myself or feel guilty, never again to love anyone whom it would hurt to lose."

Hmmmmm...

...

Have to workkkk till 6 tomorrow. Eurghhh.

Truely.

Eurghhhhh.

Truely.

(HAHA)

Iphone is driving me crazy

2009-02-15T23:48:00.002+08:00

The title suggests it all.

My phone is really driving me insane. I cannot understand how the hell it functions. Each time I input something into my phone the previous stuff gets deleted. It's truely a case of EURGHHH. It's so irritating. I swear I'm going down to Apple or Singtel to find out how to use it. Before it gets on my nerve.

Truely.

Monkey Business.

2009-02-13T23:43:00.005+08:00

I've heard monkeys' have itchy assholes'. And it has been a case of itchy asshole for me today. I was expriencing it the whole time when I was trying to get my evening nap. EURGHH! I know this sound really gross. But... Worse thing I don't know what got it started. Irritated. That got me up. Spoiling my plan to sleep through the night. Now I'm wide awake. Bored. And desperately trying to find something to amuse/entertain myself with - Starting with Sally's Larry's name. :D
Larry Loh Ling Ling. Hmmmmmm... And he offered to shot me a lovely ____-shaped peek. How nice.

Anyways, I pissed off with my whole driving issue. I think CDC is so out to cheat! First of all, I didn't realised there's an expiry date for my driving enrollment. Truely - What the HELL! You're charged like another $50 for renewal of enrollment. And I can't understand why we have to be charged for that enrollment fee in the first place. $160! I should have just taken private at the comfort of my own free time. And secondly the dumb lady at the registration counter didn't offered to help me book my basic theory when she could have done so, instead I was shoo off and advised to do it online, WHICH I very dumbly replied okay. Crapp. And for the most obvious reasons, I'm not the most efficient and on-ball kind of person when it comes to stuff like this. Urgh. What was I thinking.

I was mind-fucked that day. Truely.

SO! Now I have to rush to book my basic (hopefully I get it through the first round), and hurry on with my advance etc. Do I truely think I can make it within 7 mths! AHHURGHHH!!! I am soooo unwillingly to part with that renewal fee! I mean how can they take it that everyone can make it within a year. That renewal fee seems to be a fee that they know they're going to get at the end of the day. It's a bloody consipiracy! CDC is so fucked up. Truely.

In The Morning

2009-02-11T10:05:00.002+08:00

8am in the morning. I'm chewing on muesli breakfast ceral bars and sobbing my eyes out reading a novel... on love and betrayal... acceptance and forgiveness. Honestly not the best combination I can ask for. Crapp. Aha. What made me come up with this entry after pausing at chapter 9 (partly to give myself some time off from all the exhausting sobbing) is to come about the fact that - I hate this self-reflection shite thing that goes through within me each time I read a novel. You know, like you go about linking the story and your own life together. Or through the chapters you sort of associate it to certain issues that happened in your life. Blah. Is it the same for everyone? Or is it just me? Cos' I thought reading was supposed to be for pleasure. Some thing people do to kill time, kill boredom?

So, today's self-reflection topic - betrayal and forgiveness/acceptance. I don't even have an issue with that do I? HAHA. Gawdd. Some times, I seriously DO NOT have a single clue what's going on up there in my bloody head. Small issues? Betrayal? Does it even count as betrayal? I believe it is actually, but part of me thinks that I'm pretty silly thinking it is cos' it just seems to be a tiny weeny issue that everybody goes through in their life every now and then. But yet again, be it small or big, one thing for sure... I've yet to come in terms with it. No forgiveness, no accpetance. I ask myself when will the day come that I will grow to let it go... for now I have no answer. All I am doing now is running away. Am I? I wonder how long I will be able to that. Hmmmm. Okay, I'm making this sound very heavy again. HAHA. But it isn't THAT big of an issue... isn't it? I'm just being overly uptight over silly issues. Urghhhh. I need yogaaaaaaa! Lalala.

Talking about yoga. I am DETERMINE to take it this time around. At the mean time, I've to go persuade Grace to learn it with me. HOHOHO! I don't know how much it's going to help me. But I mean, more pros than cons for sure. I hope to adopt inner peace, and a trimmer figuare out of it. That's what the description of the yoga class claims too. Haha. So let's just wait and see. Next up, guitar classes. Need the skills to go serenade some guy. BLAHHHHHH! HAHAHA!!

Period.

2009-02-10T15:19:00.003+08:00

Period.

I don't understand why I'm naming this entry period. Haha. Hmmmm.

When I am so sure about what I'm doing, some things just have to happen to prove myself wrong. And just like a tsunami that washes away everything. I start doubting my actions and I have to start all over again. I keep telling myself - come what may. I have no control over certain issues that happen in my life. But yet again, once in while I question myself. Many times, it's hard to deny the fact that I land myself in shit . With my own hands, I dig my own grave. Haha. Ridiculous.

I wonder few years down the road what will happen to us. Is time what I really need? Will time pull us apart? Or will it provide a medium for us to grow to learn that we really need each other? Or am I just comparing? If she could do it without us for all these years, does that mean it will work the same for me? For everyone us? Actually, deep down I just cannot stop comparing. My bad. But everything have just shown me that promises dont count. Empty promises. Lots and lots of empty promises. I guess its just good to not harbour any expectations, so at the end of the day no one gets hurt.

Come what may. For now maybe we all need the space.
I think it's probably just me. HAHA.

Back Home

2009-01-16T21:09:00.005+08:00

How can I stand the day alone

I recall the times when our love was thrown

And how will I get through the day

My tears are falling down

Remembering the words you said

Tell me that our love won’t fade away

Can anybody tell me how a perfect love went wrong

Can anybody heal my heart and mend my broken soul

If there’s someone who can count my tears and all my sorrow

Oh please make him come back home

You promised a lifetime of love that will never fade

Until the day the sun no longer shines

But you’ve let my heart died

You left me all alone I’m grieving now

Coz you found someone new

Tell me this is not a game you play

Can anybody tell me how a perfect love went wrong

Can anybody heal my heart and mend my broken soul

If there’s someone who can count my tears and all my sorrow

Oh please make him come back home

I don’t wanna go on without

No more sleepless nights because of you

Hold me tight don’t ever let me go

Don’t let me go

Can anybody tell me how a perfect love went wrong

Can anybody heal my heart and mend my broken soul

If there’s someone who can count my tears and all my sorrow

Oh please make him come back home

First step out

2008-11-23T22:29:00.004+08:00

My cell is emtionless.
The ants are happy.
I wonder what I can do for myself next.

Baby steps are better than no steps taken. I'm so proud of myself. Proud? Haha. Okayy, not to that extend. That's a little too exaggerating. The shackles chained to my ankles are loosen. Let's just keep it up - this good ol' feeling. In The Secret of Happiness, it says, "The search for happiness is about reeling in the 'big fish' - the only kind that truely matters - even if it means a lot of struggle." I have not reel in my 'big fish', but I'm confident it's just going to be a matter of time. At the mean time, lets just keep the 'little fish' - nice feelings, good moods and raw pleasures coming in. More please.

It doesn't hurt that badd anymore. I'm too sick and tired all these crap. It just makes me disgusted with myself. It's okay. I've decided... I'm willing to forsake everything that comes with it. Cos' it has been made clear to me, that no one is going to give a shit about you in the end. Only have myself to answer for. And only I... can shield myself from it all.

I guess it was my bad for walking out from my walls to begin with. I take blame.
I will take the blame. Peace.

Keep swimming in little fishy! (Till I get the big one that is)

Begin with

2008-11-20T20:36:00.006+08:00

The chapter of a new path. And so, the search begins...

Why do we always cherish something/someone only when we lose it? Is it because the only way to make the right decision is to find out which is the wrong desicion?

Will it be too late then?

The lesson revolves around the topic 'move on'. 'Don't worry' has evolved to what we call 'move on' in the recent years. Every corner I turn I hear these two words - move on. It's the best term people use these days to every problem that exist. They tell others, move on. They tell themselves, move on. Move on, move on, move on, JUST MOVE ON. Life still goes on no matter what happens.(Even if the sky decided to fall one day.) How much truth it contains, but can we really simply apply it to every aspect in our lives? Don't you see? When we postphone the harvest, the fruit rots, but when we postphone our problems, they just keep on growing and growing... And one day when it all explodes, how are we suppose to just shrug it off and move on?

It be too late then?

I love taking one bite out of everything. Just one bite. One bite of that chocolate cake, one bite to that wanton dumpling, one bite to that loaf of bread, one bite of her and one bite of him. Just one bite.

Today, I try to take a bite out of this - that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. As the saying goes: having the most important bite in the world without owning it. The true experience of freedom? Slowly and steadily? I'll try to digest this bite that I took today? Hopefully.

Moving on?

I end this post today with a bite from this novel.

"It's always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn't matter what we call it; what matters is to leave beind us in the past those moments in life that are over."

The Moment

2008-11-19T22:59:00.009+08:00

Every day, God gives us, as well as the sun,

a moment when it is possible to change anything

that is causing us unhappiness.

The magic moment

is the moment when a "yes" or a "no"

can change our whole existence.

Every day, we try to pretend

that we do not see that moment,

that it does not exist,

that today is the same as yesterday

and that tomorrow will be the same too.

However, anyone who pays close attention

to his day will discover the magic moment.

It might be hidden in the instant

that we put the key in the door in the morning,

in the moment of silence after supper,

in the thousand and one things

that appear to us to be the same.

This moment exists,

a moment in which all the strength of the stars

flows through us

and allows us to perform miracles.

Where is mine?

And I love you for being you

2008-11-19T19:16:00.003+08:00

Thank you to those around me for remaining who they are.
For remaining constant, for not changing, for staying by. Thank you.

But maybe, I'm just thinking maybe... Would it make any difference if you (all) weren't around?

Maybe it would have. Maybe it wouldn't.

Only time will tell.

The girl beind the walls

2008-11-18T21:09:00.004+08:00

I'm getting more and more afraid. Telling myself to move on and not give a hoot shit about everything that is revolving around me seems to be quite impossible. Trying to break this chain of dependance seems even more far-fetched. Is detachment the only way out for me? Like an isolation period. My thoughts are scattered. Probably... I don't even know what I'm refering to right now. But seeing what she wrote scares me... a lot. The possible thought of what she might be indicating, gives me the shiver. Call it my personal insecurities, or maybe I'm just reading too much, or maybe it's today that I just happen to feel emotionally needy. Whatever it is, I'm scared.

Emotionally needy. Since when did I become so emotionally needy? Emotionally insecure? Emotionally selfish?

Very often and I can't really trace back since when it started, I realised I'll be lost in my own thoughts. Locked up in my own world. Thoughts that are so over-whelming but I can't seem to talk about them to anyone around me. The words just don't flow out no more. It kills me sometimes, but then again I feel violated when someone trys to enter my world of thoughts. Intruding, worse still when they try to break it down for me or give opinions about what they think. I don't need that. Honestly, I don't. That's when I start building up my walls. I was told, behind those walls sits a very vunerable and lonely little girl. Haha. Maybe it true but that's an opinion that I have yet to accept. Denial? So be it.

So... I wasn't thinking too much. It's what I thought it was. After so many years, that tripping stone is still there. This just tells us, unless you get rid of it, no matter how far down the road you have walked away, you'll turn back and still see it at a distance. And as the proverb says 'the curiosity kills the cat', one day, upon seeing the stone at a distance, all the memories though vague starts urging you to walk back and pick it up. And that's the turning point, I suppose we call it regret. Matters without proper closure are more prone to that I believe. Just like hers now. And... I can't comment.

What am I scared off? The turning point upon picking the stone and everything that follows on...

Why, if I decide to die

2008-11-16T15:08:00.003+08:00

She said she was neither happy nor unhappy, and that was why she couldn't go on.

Each person knows the extend of their own suffering, or the total abscence of meaning in their life. And so, the cup of suffering is not the same size for everyone. I speak nothing about it, but that doesn't mean it does not exist.

They were always there although I hid them.

Ouch

2008-11-14T12:59:00.005+08:00

6 weeks later and it still hurts a lot inside.

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain the only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
That old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away but I remember everything

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away in the end
You could have it all - My empire of dirt
I will let you down, I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit on my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time the feelings disappears
You are someone else, I am still right here

If I could start again a million miles away
I would keep myself, I would find a way...

The colour of my heart is fucking grey.

blame it on the question mark

2008-11-14T01:59:00.008+08:00

???
When I am in a foul mood because of that mfma, I, Cheryl.c simply blame it on the - ? question mark. Feeling really, really, REALLY irritated right now. Sadly, there's no one out there in this fucking universal at this time for me to irritate. Okay, truth is, there is. But what... now I have to let the whole world know I'm a freak. That I'm irritated over question marks? Like? ??? What the fuck man. On a (somehow) lighter note. I AM irritated with question marks. The very fact that we all have to use them. Or more like the very fact that I have to use them. It's like Mr. Question, Mark pointing a gun at my head, forcing me to use it. Yupp. And not forgetting, making me feel like a complete idiot now too. Cos' I can actually get pissed off over a fucking question mark. This doesn't make sense. Like why in the hell do I have to use a question mark. SEE! Didn't need to use one for one to know that I'm asking a question isn't it. Soooo, isn't it just one big fucking trap. Isn't it just one big fucking trap? Honestly, does it make a difference. Honestly, does it make a difference? AHHHH! I'm fucking sick in the head. No... I'm just plain irritated with that mfma. That's why I blame it on the question mark. What's wrong with me. What's wrong with me?

I want a WHERE'S WALLY book.
I want a WHERE'S WALLY book?
Now, that made a difference. Does that mean I'll get less irriated? And stop blaming the question mark? Start using them even?
Only smarties have the answer.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
This is really crap. How fucking lame and pathetic I can be. Typing all this gibberish rubbish crap load of bullshit just so to appease myself.

AND GUESS WHAT! Just when I felt a tad better, entertaining myself through the whole blaming the question mark shit. The bloody mfma has do some bloody fucking shit to trigger off that circuit within me again. Fuck man. What's wrong with him. What's wrong with him? What's fucking wrong with him!? I have to break, break, BREAK this fucking chain of reliance...

Soon

~~Before I break.~~

The sweet little things they do

2008-11-11T14:02:00.018+08:00

Being youthful.
The goodness of it all ...
1) Surprise!
2) At escape entrances.
3) ~~Tiny~~ little chocolate cake with suspicious looking cranberry-look-alike decorations that taste damn deadly.
4) One candle no matter how old you are!!

S W E E T !

AWWWWWWW~ It's a ...

~~tiny~~ little chocolate cake! How sweeettt~ ;p

That made

Cheryl one happy girl. *Grins*

I know you girls travelled up and down just to get me those Havis. And I'm bloody touched. :)

Sally... would appreciate it if you gave me a different postcard in future. I'm not even asking for a card.

Sometimes when life is just one big 'ouch'. They always stick by me, sending me a little emotional first aid.

The AMAZING Sally:

Joee The Bubbly and (atrociously) Dirty Girl:

Thank you.
You girls are my life-saving ban aids.
xoxo.

That night I found out I actually do have girlfriends. Amazing.

May it last.

Consuming

2008-11-02T19:30:00.002+08:00

My comp has been on since last night. Trying to download the 2007 Victoria Secrets Fashion Show. Heh. Bikini babes turn me on. But! It's taking ages! Gawd. Super slow. And for the whole day I'm like controlling my urge to just watch it on youtube. Another 22.5% away from Adriana Lima's hot bod. Wooo Hoooo. She's so freaking hot man. Urgh... Hooooooot!

How can a person look so perfect.

This Type Love

2008-11-02T19:14:00.001+08:00

by Saul Williams

I want a love like me thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you type love
or me telling my friends more than I've ever admitted to myself about how I feel about you type love
or hating how jealous you are but loving how much you want me all to yourself type love
or seeing how your first name just sounds so good next to my last name.
and shit- I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you and I barely made it out of my garage.

See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep then wonder if she's dreaming about us being in love type love
or who loves the other more or what she's doing at this exact moment or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts.

Closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good could just hurt so much when she's not there and shit I love not knowing where this love is headed type love.

And check this- I wanna place those little post-it notes all around the house so she never forgets how much I love her type love
then not have enough ink in my pen to write all the love type love
and hope I make her feel as good as she makes me feel and I wanna deal with my friends making fun of me the way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love.

The only difference is this is one of those real type loves
and just like in high school I wanna spend hours on the phone not saying shit and then fall asleep
and then wake up with her right next to me and smell her all up in my covers type love
and I wanna try counting the ways I love her then lose count in the middle just so I could start all over again
and I wanna celebrate one of those one-month anniversaries even though they ain't really anniversaries
but doing it just 'cause it makes her happy type love

and check this- I wanna fall in love with the melody the phone plays when our numbers dial in type love
and talk to you until I lose my breath, she leaves me breathless, but with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of her back into me.

I want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan to something that allows me to talk to her longer
'cause in all honesty, I want to avoid one of them high cell phone bill type loves
and I don't want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are
I mean the lines on my palms don't give me enough time to love you as long as I'd like to type love
and I want a love that makes me st-st-st-stutter just thinking about how strong this love is type love
and I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair.
Well maybe not all of the hair,
maybe like I'd cut the split ends and trim the mustache but it would still be a symbol of how strong my love is for her.

I kind of feel comfortable now
so I even be fantasize about walking out on a green light just dying to get hit by a car just so I could lose my memory,
get transported to some third world country just to get treated
and somehow meet up again with you so I could fall in love with you in a different language and see if it still feels the same type love.

I want a love that's as unexplainable as she is,
but I'm married so she is gonna be the one I share this love with.

This type love... Will we (ever) find it?

Evolution

2008-11-02T02:47:00.003+08:00

People change.
Ever... Everchanging.

I used to dream of only you
But now I don't do that
I used to miss talking to you
But now I don't do that

Since you've been gone I've learned to stop
Tried to hold on because there's not
One night, one single day
That I wouldn't give to you
So with all my might in every way
I'll try to forget you too

You used to tell me everything
But now you don't do that
Let me inside of everything
But now you don't do that

You said we won't change at least I thought
It feels so strange because there's not
One night, one single day
That I wouldn't give to you
So with all my might in every way
I'll try to forget you too

Loneliness may come knocking at my door
Where I'm coming from
It won't hurt me anymore
(Hurt me anymore)

Since you've been gone I've learned to stop
Tried to hold on because there's not
One night, one single day
That I wouldn't give to you
So I'll stop the fight and only say
I'll try to forget you too

I'll try to forget you too

Let's go fly at the speed of sound

2008-10-27T08:14:00.003+08:00

Wakeboardddinggg~
Urgh! Why is it so hard to convince my friends to try it out. Okay fine. The truth is I only asked like a handful of them. I have no friendssss!! Booo. HAHA! Damn it. Another reality stab to my open wound. I need to do something extreme before I seriously 1) go crazy, 2) start implementing my long awaiting sucide plans. Hmmmm... is spending half my pay in a day on shopping considered as an act of craziness? Or an act of sucidal also? Cos' it's not even the begaining of the next month, which translates - I probably have to survive on grass for the rest of the 3 and half weeks. Crap. Urghhh! Cheryl Cheryl~ What can I say?

Oh. And I did this pretty hair extensions. It's supposed to turn out pretty BUTTTT mine turned out - weird. And it's irritating the shit out if me! It's nice onyl when I grab it all to the side. When I do the 'hair swing', it looked super unatural laa. WTH. Jessie's conclusion was that there wasn't enough extensions to make the whole look real enough. One pathetic strand of extension, and I really mean PATHETIC STRAND is like a dollar. And one would probably need a minmuin of 100 strands, according to the dumbarse woman who works there and stained my top without telling me. Talking about this now makes me super pissed. She stained my brand new top with this black shit thingy and didn't tell me. Found out only when I left the shop. That's so... SNEAKY laa! Is sneaky the word to use? Urgh. Worse thing, I couldn't totally remove the stain. That dumbarse woman. Back to topic, so as I was saying you would probably need like 100 strands to make it all look natural. Which means that would cost at least $100. Which is over my budget. But nowwww.... I think I HAVE to add on cos' I can't stand that it looks so not-part-of-my-hair!!!

I am one troublesome woman.

But take my hand and let's go fly at the speed of sound

Until Then.

2008-10-13T23:57:00.004+08:00

People ask
It doesn't make sense
This talk of revolutions
Well, I wont wait

A Kiss Kiss, I know it feels right
You believe in me
You believe I know this seems right
You Believe in me

When I'm trying hard
To communicate,
It just pulls me down

And I try to see,
What you mean to me
But it feels all wrong

It's only a matter of time
Until we break,
And you'll be gone
Until the rain fall starts
Until the lightning strikes your heart
I'll be waiting
I'll be searching on

I'll find you
I'll take you there
I'll be fine
Until then

Until then... Will I be... fine?

Horrifying Discovery.

2008-10-13T01:46:00.003+08:00

I can't believe that there's a mandrin version of Dusty Springfields's "I Only Want To Be With You"! Whatmore it was sang by the most horrible girl band around - 7 Flowers.
Noise to my ears and an insult to Dusty.

EEkk EKkk.

I'm the fool.

2008-10-02T16:32:00.003+08:00

I've been thinking... I can't help but feel that I've made a big mistake. And things turned out this way because of my own foolishness. My fault. All the crap that I did. I should have gave him the time he needed right? Though it was killing me at that point of time to just wait on without any idea how long he was going to take. My childish thinking that bringing some shithead there would evoke some sense of urgency in him. Hah. What was I thinking. I felt so terrible after that night. And till today, the thought of what I did makes me feel like crap. I can't breath each time I think of the possibility that I've hurt him somehow. My heart aches. I didn't know that the past relationship hurt him so much. He never mentioned. So I turned out to be the ignorant one. How dumb. I lay on my bed the whole day, thinking and reflecting. Reading the messages over and over again. Crying. Falling asleep. Crying... and then falling asleep again. And suddenly, it strike me, though he didn't give me any answer all these while, he has been caring for me with his own ways somehow. And I have to go ruin everything. I can't believe it took me so long to realise it. I guess I was so selfish with my own thoughts that I didn't really seat down and think about it at all. But... I guess it's over now. No matter what happens, I'll just have to move on.

And I will.

We only learn to cherish what we have when we lose it. Now I can say I truely understand this phrase. At first, I was confused. But after what had happen, it made me realise, deep down how important he was to me. And how much I have liked him. Funny to come to think about it. How long I have lied to myself and how I was unwillingly to face that fact till now. Somehow, God made it this way that we all have to learn the hard way, isn't it?

Bubbles Bubbles

2008-09-21T11:35:00.001+08:00

It's been 3 days and I'm still stucked at level 9.
Urghhh!

My patience is running low.

The Sweetheart. (Revision 1.2)

2008-09-09T01:04:00.002+08:00

Optimistic and honest.
Optimistic? Honest, have to admit. Very honest.

Sweet personality.
Not very actually.

Very independent.
To a certain extend I guess you can say that.

Inventive and intelligent.
Inventive? Intelligent... Hmmmm. Not dumb.

Rebellious and very stubborn.
Definitely.

Trys to hard at times to be original and unique.
At times. At times.

Attractive on the inside.
Still comtemplating my answer on that one.

Eccentric personality.
Weird piece of **********!

Urghhhhh.
Urghhhhhhhhh.
Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

When the time comes.

2008-09-09T00:34:00.003+08:00

A single stalk of red and blue rose.
Magazines.
Westlife.
Manga.
Indie.
Boxes.
Containers.
The ocassional obession of packing.
Orange.
Files.
Postcards.
Cheeseburger & clam chowder.
Subway turkey breast sandwhich.
MOS.
Kinokuniya.
Pens.
Cheap Tees.

... and many more.

That make us.
And when the time comes when we both do not share any of those common interests...
I can't imagine what will happen then.

The Sweetheart.

2008-08-31T16:40:00.003+08:00

He is
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn. Trys too hard at times to be original and unique. Attractive on the inside. Eccentric personality.

He is...

all that.

I fell in love with my january friend.

The truth is ...

2008-08-24T22:52:00.002+08:00

I fell in love with my january friend?

And,
I don't know what to do about it?

?

Never Happy.

2008-08-12T21:47:00.008+08:00

I guess the process of making friends are also learning from them. I know her a few months back. And I admire her qualities in many ways. One of them especially is the fact that she does not compare herself with others. Always happy to be in her own skin. It never bothers her that someone else is prettier than her. Has nicer hair than her. Fairer than her. Never bothers her if she looks weird in pictures. Never comparing that others have stuff she doesn't. All the typical superficial comparing that every girl goes through more or less in their life. But not her. She's happy to just be her. How can one be so comfortable in their own skin? That's why I find her so amazing. Amazingly, she's contended with who she is and what she has. Actually, I know two of such kind. Probably cos' they share the same birth date. Thus sharing the same traits?

Everyday, I am trying to be happy that I'm me. But sometimes, I just can't get pass myself. All the unhappiness about how this could be better or that could better. Just never happy. Never. What's perfect? Okay, maybe not to the extend of being perfect. But just being contended with what you have. And thinking about it, it's embarassing to admit that it's all over superficial stuff. Like how shallow can I be... right? Sad but true. I don't know if the day will ever come when I'm finally happy with what I have. Or would it be easier if I just stop comparing? The latter is quite impossible though. Hah. Maybe I should just get in terms that I am shallow? Would that make life simpler?

P.s: One thing for sure, I'm happy to have bumped into these 2 amazingly wonderful girls. The angels God gave me.

For that, I cannot say that I'm never happy.

Is it as simple as that?

2008-08-10T22:43:00.007+08:00

Building walls.

Drawing lines.

The array of colours you have given me are all covered in grey now and my heart is about to burst into a thousand pieces. It's true. Just like the way blue is blue and black is black.

Addicted to

2008-08-09T17:25:00.003+08:00

Gummies!

Been eating lots and lots of gummies these days. From katies gummies, to those pick and mix from Candy Empire. Particularly, the big cherry ones. You know, the ones that look like a cherry. And obviously taste like them too. Hah.
After eating so much, I realise I always feel like my guts are all stuck together after binging on bag full of gummies. >_ But I still can't help sinking my teeth in those big fat juicy cherry gummies. (:

God is angry today. And the angels are crying.
Will he feel better tommorrow?

Random Rila.

2008-08-07T21:50:00.006+08:00

Randomly added a (lame) tune to my blog. Haha.
Fairy-land like tune. Hmmm... Does it brings one to a better mood? I wonder.

Faa just came back from HK. And, real nice of her to bring back a Rilakkuma alarm clock for me. It's super cute. Furthermore, it's pink. Totally matches all the stuff on my table. Heh. I always thought I would grow out of the colour pink as I get older. But the truth is - I can't. At least, it's not really like an obession now. I welcome a variation of colours these days. Talking about the alarm clock, I have yet to find out how it functions. I mean, is it normal for alarm clocks to only have one hand for the alarm settings? Cos' the Rila one only comes with an one hand setting. This makes the time quite inaccurate. Have tried and failed to see how I can set it accurately. The alarm tone amazingly is some super LOUD and a mixture of weird sounding sounds. HAHA. Pretty amusing. Before I heard the alarm, I was wondering to myself, could it be the voice of Rila saying,"Good morning. Wake up!" (in japanese) How does Rila sound like in the first place? Does he even talk? Is he even a male? LOL. Crap. :p

I love the clock. More Rila stuff to be added to my collection next week.
ALL friends who stumble across this entry... I love Rilakkuma. So yeah. I welcome any (free) Rila merchandise (anytime).
Piisu. (:

- The tune seems to be getting on my nerves. -_-"

I can be...

2008-07-14T21:52:00.002+08:00

a housewife if I want to.

Haha!
I spent my whole Sunday baking and cooking. Just like any other desk job from 8am - 7pm. Imagine the only day I can sleep in late. And I actually woke up at 8 in the morning to buy ingrediants for my banana walnut cake. It's either out of randomness or I'm just plain crazy. Hee. It all happened when I woke up to take a piss. Saw the oven in the kitchen and decided, hey you know what I'm so going to bake a cake now. So I resisted the urge to crawl back to bed, washed up and headed to Haig Rd market to get my baking stuff. Reached home and began on my task. Surprisingly, My banana walnut cake turned out fab on my first try. Wooot! (: Later on I looked at the left over flour and thought, why not bake some muffins now since I still had left overs. So I went on with 3 batches of chocolate chip muffins. By time it was in the late afternoon. Time for lunch. Cooked soba noodles. Yummy!! After soba, I was thinking might as well bake another banana cake, cos I still had a bunch of banana. Don't want to waste them. And there I go again... this time around banana chocolate chip cake. But it was a failure. Cos I was too greedy and added too much banana and chocolate chips. The cake turned out to be all filled with banana and chocolate till you couldn't taste the cake. I didn't stop though. I went on cooking spagetti for dinner. LOL. So pratically I was baking and washing, cooking and washing the whole Sunday. Not forgetting packing the entire cupboard filled of containers that are stained with lizard shit and grime and dirt. Urgh. I wanted to make that section of the cupboard my baking ingrediants corner. So I had to take out everything. wiped the cupboard clean, wash all the digustingly dirty tupperwares and then re-organise the whole cupboard space. >_ Super tiring.

Conclusion - Seems like I do have a little housewife quality in me. But I don't think I'll ever be one. It's too taxing. Aha.

Banana walnut cake and chocolate chip muffins pictures to be up soon. That's if I manage to find my phone's cable. :(

These days...

2008-06-30T21:15:00.003+08:00

I've been rushing to work every morning!! It's so tiring. Booo. I wonder what's with me. It's like no matter how hard I try to get up earlier, I still leave my house at the same time. Or even later. Tsk tsk. It's just like no matter how much money I earn, I'm still always broke by the second week. HAHA!

And she is the main reason why I'm broke this month. Say hi to my new darling - Enchanted Petals. (:

I simply love her hair colour.

Cheryl has an obession to banana cakes and MUFFINS. >_

My legs are breaking.

2008-06-28T00:38:00.001+08:00

Scrubbed up for a brain tumour case today. And I standed from 10.30am to 6pm. Without food or water. Tired! >_ If only one could burn calories while standing.

Looking forward to Sunday. Going to bake a banana cake! Whooo. Aha. (:

This post is rated M18.

2008-06-15T13:20:00.005+08:00

I call this a box FULL of surprises.

I can't get that image out of my head. It's so disturbing. And the kittens were mewing like crazy. >_

My very first ...

2008-06-05T00:55:00.002+08:00

LEVIS JEANS!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I bought my very first pair of Levis today! So happy man. But okay, on the down side the hole in my pocket have officially been enlarged. It was damn worth it though. Partly, I got it cos' there was a 20% sale storewide. Ended up I spent more than expected. The sales lady tempted me to sign up for the membership card, which was $50 till next year Dec. You get 10% of regular priced items. 20% on the whole of your birthday month. Additional 5% on discounted items. Andddd, this was what tempted me... 2 free Levis belt. The belt was damn nice. And it came in black and white. So it's like quite worth it. Hee.

I can sense more Levis coming my way.

Addiction.

2008-05-31T20:59:00.002+08:00

Lately I have 2 addictions.

1) Texas Hold'Em
is just like poker. I've been playing it pratically everyday. Seeing my chips increase day by day really makes me glee. HAHA. Though it's not like my hard earn money, however each time I'm playing I feel the adrenaline rush. Woot! Texas Hold'Em rocks my socks.

2) Shopping
I've been buying lots of shoes, bags and clothes! Going to be broke soon if I continue to spend this way. Tsk Tsk. And I still want to get another Longchamp bag. Urgh. The GSS is really great man. Actually... thinking back, I didnt really buy anything that was on offer. LOL. Oh ya ya. I did. I bought 2 pair of heels, which I don't even think I'll ever wear. Whatmore I got them in the exact same colour but in different design. (What was I thinking.) Cos' it was so cheap, I was tempted. Sighs. I paid $38 for both pairs. Freaking cheap right. Hopefully, I'll get the chance to wear them one day. >_

I wonder what's next? Hee.

In my own twisted mind.

2008-05-29T22:10:00.002+08:00

Say hi to Polly. Male Maltese. Or is it a Poodle? -Shrugs-

Saw this super cute doggy on the way to the toilet yesterday. It just ran out from the shop. So, the natural thing to do when you see such a cute little darling running out, is to pick it up. And I name it Polly. Yeah, the whole world is saying I'm a doggy kidnapper. And worse of all, to think that I gave the doggy a female name when it's obviously a male. But seriously, I think Polly looks like a Polly. The first minute I saw it. And it looks really girly for a male dog. HAH. I know toy dog breeds tend to look more feminine. So? And who made the rule that Polly is a female name.

So, there you go... say hi to POLLY.

:D

Copy & Paste.

2008-05-26T00:13:00.004+08:00

1. Michelle.o
2. Sheela Grace
3. Jee
4. Faa
5. Yaa
6. BraaaaR
7. Kevin
8. Lynn
9. Wang
10. Denise
11. Jud
12. Justin
13. Andy
14. Sidney
15. Terry
16. Serene
17. Joee
18. Lixia
19. Ryan
20. Tf

How did you meet 14?
Through Kevin.

What will you do if you never meet 1?
I will feel the same way she feels. My life would never be complete too. (:

Will 6 and 17 date?
Gawdd. It ever cross my mind to matchmake them.

Describe 3.
My closest poly mate. Who bluntly told me during the first day of school - "I don't believe in going to the toilet in pair." Eh, whateverrrrr man Jee. HAHA.

Is 8 attractive?
I guess so.

Describe 7.
Has super short-term memory and practices selective listening.

Do you know any of 12 family members?
Seen them before.

What language does 15 speak?
English.

Who is 9 going out with?
Engaged to Denise. (:

How old is 16?
20

When was the last time you spoke to 13?
Saturday.

Who is 2's favourite singer/band?
No idea. Shee what's your favourite band? Lol.

Have you ever dated 4?
Yupp. We go for shopping and movie dates every once in awhile.

Would you ever date 1?
BFF <3. Hee. (:

Is 19 single?
- Nope.

What's 10's last name?
Tan.

Would you ever been in a relationship with 11?
No. Cos' she belongs to Justin.

What is the school of 3?
Graduated.

Where does 6 live?
Tampines.

What's your favourite thing about 5?
She has no temper.

Have you ever seen 2 naked?
Nope. Wouldn't want to too. Haha.

I'm so hungry now. Urgh.

Mummy... It's overrrrrr.

2008-05-24T16:10:00.002+08:00

I'm a student no more. Booo.

All of a sudden I miss school.

Only managed to catch Faa & Jee during graduation. The compound outside the auditorum was jam packed after the ceremony. Everyone clicking away with their cams.

Where's Wally?

Try finding me. Haha.

Sugar rush.

2008-05-23T19:43:00.002+08:00

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

I think this quiz is pretty amazing. Hee.

Always.

2008-05-21T22:15:00.002+08:00

LAST MINUTE!!

Crap.

My graduation ceremony is tomorrow and as usual I'm always lacking in preparation. I have yet to get my black pumps!

AURGHHHH!

I am seriously so dead. Whatmore, I still have to work till 1pm. And I need to get to school by 3.30pm. 2 and half hours. Is it enough to get a pair of black pumps, get home to change and get to the ceremony on time?

AURGHHHH!

I predict is going to be a mad rush tomorrow.

Why do I always end up torturing myself in such ways.

LOL.

Horror-scope of the day.

2008-05-17T13:58:00.002+08:00

Did I ever mention I love reading about horoscopes. To a certain extend they are quite true. People who are born under the same star sign, do have similar traits in general. It's pretty interesting. :3

SCORPIO - The Addict
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring.

Hmmmm. How true? Haha.

The things I do to put myself at ease.

2008-05-17T09:15:00.004+08:00

I can really be one sneaky bastard. HAHA. Okay, I'm at ease now. Peace. Ahhaha.

Every single day, I amaze myself with the things I can come up with. Or should I say the things I do at times, surprises me.

Ever single day, I grow to learn more about myself. At times, when I feel so little and my world seems to be crumbling till I can no longer cope, some how or rather I always manage to find my way out at the end of the tunnel and realise that I rise above.

And on certain occasions, I get in touch with the sneaky side of me. You know like taking that extra mile just to achieve the things you want. You may either take it positively or negatively. But whatever it is, I always believe in fighting for what you want. And if you didn't even bother to try in the first place, why cry about it afterwards.

And today just like any other day, I've learn that I can be so sneaky just to put my heart at ease.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH.

When it strikes, it strikes hard.

2008-05-16T14:58:00.013+08:00

I'm sick! :(

Went to see the doctor yesterday and the first thing he said to me was, "uhhh. The last time I saw you was 6 years ago." I haven't been sick for the last 6 years. Other then my constipation and eczema, which is usually for me to 'cheat' for mc. Hee.

Anyway, it really strike me bad yesterday morning. Went to work as usual, feeling okay. Started feeling feverish when I entered the OT. I'm thinking maybe it was due to the sudden change in temperature. It was freaking cold inside man. Shivering the whole day. Once the fever set in, I started to have a really bad headache and my whole body was aching like crazy too. The headache was the worse. My head felt so heavy and giddy, I could faint any time. Worse still I couldn't drink any water, cos' the rest room was like one level down and we had to stay in the OT lecture room which was upstairs. At first, I thought of just trying to bear with it till I finished work, since I'm already there. Or else it'll be considered that I took a day off and being under the probation period, it means unpaid leave. Crap. But I couldn't take it and requested to go home.

However, the sister-in-charge wouldn't let me go and offered me panadol and allowed me to rest in the surgeon's sleeping unit. That didn't make me feel any better though. My head was spining and aching so badly, I literally felt like banging it against the wall. I was even thinking would my temperature go up so high till it burned my brain and made me retarded. I'm not exaggerating. My head felt like a ticking time bomb that would explode any moment.

And finally, it was time to go home, dragged myself to the taxi stand. The cab journey back was horrible. The ride was so bumpy, made me nausea. I had to keep telling myself to hold back and not vomit in the cab. To make matters worse, the cabby kept on talking to me. Telling me about the China earthquake even when I politely told him that I was not feeling well, he still went on and on... and on! Urgh.

A mere 5 minutes that day, felt like ages. Never did I wanted to go home so badly.

Say hi to (aunty) Cheryl.

2008-05-13T21:51:00.004+08:00

Today (aunty) Cheryl will teach everyone how to peel a dragonfruit without the need of a knife.

Step 1:

Always attack the head first. Make sure you sharpen your 'claws' and sink it right through, till you hit the flesh.

Step 2:

Start peeling the skin in a roundabout motion. You will realise how easy it is once the head is off.

Step 3:

Taaa-Daaa!! Ready to eat dragonfruit.
This is what I call, literally enjoying the fruit of your labour. Hee.

The aftermath should look something like this:

This is how you become an aunty overnight.

Just go peel a dragonfruit without a knife.

At the park, I see

2008-05-13T21:02:00.003+08:00

The crows resting at the side railings are the most evil looking birds.
The pigeons cooing on the nearby pavement look the dumbest with their bobbing heads.
The 'good samaritan' who left a bowl of rice at the corner of the walk way each day for the evil/dumb birds to peck on, deserves to die if an epidemic ever breaks out in Singapore.

Oblivious people who do not give way to approaching runners, who cut arcoss the running track just to walk a hundred metres lesser to reach the bus-stop, shouldn't stare at runners with their dilated pupils when all they got was a brush against their shoulders. These inconsiderate shit heads. Urgh.

Ratty-looking ah peks that stand in the middle of the track, giving you that salacious look each time you run past them, should all be given a clout on their heads for staring. Worse still when you know they do it on purpose. Uuurgh. Staring back doesn't help, these folks simply have no shame. No bloody shame.

Basketball wannabes should all be ban from shooting anymore hoops at court beside the park, a punishment for leaving behind all their empty mineral bottles on the field. I don't see what's so difficult for them to just throw it into the bins, which is like what? 20 steps away.

Maybe, it will all be good if one keeps her eyes to herself.

Probably, the world would be a more beautiful one.

In this case, ingorant is indeed bliss.

And I was the fool.

2008-05-12T22:46:00.004+08:00

To believe all that you had say. I was the fool.

Though I feel really indignant to be treated this way... you know what? It's okay. At least I got to see that hideous side of you. All that "naive" talk you had with me, all the memories will be thrown out from this moment onwards. Trust has hit rock bottom. It's funny how things actually turned out this way, beyond what I've expected. I call it the fun part of life, cos' it's the unexpected that allows us to have something to look forward to in life. Right? Anyways, enough said. You simply disgust me. Guess you would not be so dumb to not weight the advantages and disadvantages of the situation before taking this step out. And since you have decided to choose that path. I wish you all the best then.

Was back at school to get my graduation gown today. Urgh. Have to go shopping man, for heels to go with my dress that I intend to wear for the graduation ceremony. Hopefully, I'll still look decent enough in that dress. With my stupid tan. Ahhh. Irritated.

Went running at the track since I was already at school. Lots a company. (:
Did a good set today. Aha. Please with myself. But there's still room for improvement. Have to push myself more. Need that extra umpf. Anddd, I got a compliment from this fella. Some MacRitchie runner. Super fast man that guy, the way he ran, like easy breezy. Bloody hell. Haha. He commented that I have a very nice running posture. Hee. Okay, but I lack the speed. More effort, more endurance Cheryl~!!

That's my dinner. Strawberry yougurt with cornflakes. Yeah, I know it looks kind of gross, all mushed up and gluey. But hey, looks can be deciving.

And before I sign off today's post. I would like to share with everyone this. Some fag texted me a '?' (question mark). Didn't know who it was. Probably most people would just ignore such a message, since it was an unknown number. However, being the inquisitive me...

Unknown: ?
Me: Who's that?
Unknown: Sorry accidentally key wrong number. Sorry hopefully didn't interrupt ya. Once again sorry.
Me: oh. It's okay.
Unknown: Btw, Who's there?
Me: ********

Okay, my reply has been censored. Don't think there's a need for me to let everyone know what my (crude) reply was after that. Haha. Seriously, I got this feeling that this unknown person knows who I am. The whole message seems so delibrate. I mean what a dumb question to ask. Who's there? If it was purely a person who keyed in the wrong number, what's the point of asking who I was. You wouldn't know who I am even if I gave you my name right.

Sometimes this just shows how brainless people can get. Either that or I'm probably just being paranoid. -Shrugs-

The run I run.

2008-05-11T13:42:00.009+08:00

Have you ever wondered why there is always two (or more than two) options in every subject of life. Is the glass half full or half empty? A common expression used rhetorically to indicate a person's perception for optimism or pessimism in a particaular situation. And just like in running. There is always two ways you can see it. Are you getting closer to the specific destination or are you running further away from the starting point?

A promised I made myself last week, to start my running regime again. A week have past and so far I've been keeping up with it, running every evening. Reminding myself everyday to cover the distance and not to worry about how fast I run. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it up. Many thanks to the zebra who accompanys me on my journey to east coast park and back. Appreciate it. Though your continous chattering distracts my breathing at times. Haha. Anyways, we should try running to bedok reservior next.

I have deteriorate tremendously compared to last year when I started running. Now, I'm still at the process wherby I have to constantly remind myself that it's just a matter of mind over body. You can say I do enjoy my evening runs everyday. I look forward to them every morning when I wake up and I really do get excited when I see that it's time for my run. Hah. However, running to a certain extend is both physically strenous and mentally demanding. And in my case physical pain is really not the issue. Actually I like it a whole lot. Love to feel all my muscles strain up after running. Cos' that acts like a prove for me that I have gave my all. But recently, I just feel like I'm not mentally strong enough. I jolly well know that I'm capable of longer distances. I know I can cover it. However, each time while running there would be this mental block that comes to me. This voice that rings inside my head continously, like the morning alarm that wakes you up and goes into snooze mood even though you have pressed the off button, refusing to go off till you get up. Just like that, the voice urges me to stop each time it knows I have completed the initial distance I aimed to cover before my run.

And I stop.

I hate it. I hate myself for being so mentally weak. I hate it when I know clearly that my legs could still carry me further, yet all that was holding them back was that weak mind of mine.

I hate it.

There's a slight contradiction to all that have been said. I know. Do I truly enjoy my runs? Or was I just running for a purpose? Just like any NS guy who runs not because he enjoys it but just for fact that he needs to do it to meet the requirements to pass IPPT.

It's mix of both for me. I do enjoy my runs. I really do. Just mentally weak to push myself to achieve more. Just mentally weak to enjoy it more.

Hopefully this struggle ends one day.

As he puts it:
"In each race that you run, it doesn't really matter how relatively fast you are, or how absolutely slow you are. What matters most is that you have run the race for all its worth, enjoy every moment for it (why else do you run?), knowing that at the end of the race, you finish it without regrets. You could always have run faster, you could always have pushed harder. You could. but it doesn't matter anymore. Look forward, to the next race. That's the essence of how we ought to live each day in life isn't it?"

May I achieve that one day.

Let your goals guide you, to run the race a step at a time.
Let your dreams move you, to live life a day at a time.
Both with the end in mind, but with the journey at the heart of it all.

Happy Mothers' Day.

2008-05-11T10:56:00.003+08:00

Out on a clear blue sky, when lighting strikes on a sunny day, just take me in and keep me from the rain.

Having steamboat for lunch . Woot.

On the 3rd sunday of May each year, I get bombarded by this question - "Eh. What are you getting for your mom on Mothers' Day?"And each year I superficially answer,"Don't know, still thinking what to get." This year with no exception, the question of the month pop up once again. And unlike past years, I was finally prepared for this day.

W.T: "Eh, what are you planning to get for your mom on Mothers' Day?"
C.C: "What about you?"
W.T: "Don't know lei. Still thinking what to get." (The typical response. Hah.)
C.C: "I've decided what to get for my mom actually."
W.T: "Whoa. Not bad. So what are you getting her?"
C.C: "A bag full of my love." (:

Happy Mothers' Day (naggy) Mom.
Use that bag of love wisely, cos' you have to make it last for a year before I'm going to top it up.

Once again

2008-05-07T22:01:00.004+08:00

My eczema is flaring up these days.

I've notice the familiar tiny red spots starting to appear on my knuckles.
The sides of my neck are getting itchy. And upon inspection, true enough there were rough patches around the area. Those patches on my face are coming back too. Every time I stop using the corticosteroid cream, it comes back almost instantly. This is rubbish man.

How can eczema be prevented?
- Moisturize frequently. (The weather is too humid to slap on moisturizer.)
- Avoid sudden changes in temperature or humidity. (That's beyond my control.)
- Avoid sweating or overheating. (I cannot NOT run.)
- Reduce stress. (Most likely factor for my latest outbreak.)
- Avoid scratchy materials (e.g. wool or other irritants) (Must be the bloody uniform.)
- Avoid harsh soaps, detergents, and solvents (Who is going to wash my undies then?)
- Avoid environmental factors that trigger allergies (e.g. pollens, molds, mites, and animal dander) (Just build me a bubble to leave in.)
- Be aware of any foods that may cause an outbreak and avoid those foods. (Till now I'm unable to spot my triggering factor/s.)

Kill me.

I'm really in a crappy condition. With my eczema acting up. Bloated tummy. Jungle-like eye brows. Messy hair. Uneven skin tone. Not forgetting the horrible tan. Rashes on my butt. And a newly discovered sore on my... oh man. I can't even understand how the sore manage to develope in the first place.

Just kill me.

All things gutty.

2008-05-05T20:47:00.011+08:00

Don't take too long to say "I love you" to the ones you love,
cause time has a habit of slipping away.

There this sick feeling in my stomach I can't get rid off. Actually, I know what's causing it. Just that I have yet to find a solution. This is what I call a gutty issue. Rubbish man. Urgh.

A friend mentioned that I am scary. What a word to describe a person. Anyway, when I asked why. He says it's because my mood fluctuates very quickly. To be honest, I was a little taken aback by his reply. Cos' he wasn't someone who I was really close with. I don't deny the fact that what he said was true. However, I didn't recall displaying my fluctuating mood in front of him. I probably did it sub-consciously. Hah. He doesn't believe me though, that it wasn't on purpose. All I can say is... it's either you are pretty observant or you are over-inferring. And if looks can kill, you'll be dead by now.

I love the brick wall that I've built over the years and no one is going to bring it down.

Life is becoming a drag.

2008-05-04T17:39:00.006+08:00

Sometimes... it's just tough letting go of someone/things that you've once kept close to yourself. You know it's like once upon a time you have it all to yourself and now you might have to share it with someone else. The feeling sucks. Makes me scare whenever I think about it. But at the same time you know it's really selfish to habour such thoughts. Be it things or a person. I hate sharing.

This is probably the hormones getting to me. It's the time of the month. Hah. Whateverrr.

Work gets to me. A lot in fact. Finding hard to do other stuff in life every time I start working. Like during my attachment time. I always feel very disconnected from the world outside. It's pathetically ridiculous to a point whereby I find it a drag to even return a miss call or send a message. I just find it a drag. Work drains my soul away. When I'm in a bad mood. It just makes everything worse. This is the time when I wish I could live my life in denial. But as you may have all realised, reality has a funny way of creeping up on you. And when it does and smacks you right in your face hard. You'll regret. And regrets... as we all know sticks with you forever. Hauting you every now and then. Reminding you what an arse you are for not making the right decisions. The price you pay for making a friend call denial.

Managed to wake up for dragon boat practice this morning. Dug out a long sleeve tee from my cupboard. Amazingly, it did not shelter me from the blistering sun. Imagine. I still slap on sunblock. So it's double protection, sunblock cum long sleeve. The result is - I'm still tan. It's driving me nuts man. I know everyone is sick of hearing me complain and whine about my tan by now. This contradiction that I'm stuck in is major. Till now I'm unable to get a solution to it. And it's really killing me. I suppose no one understands how much it affects me. Even if they do they can't do anything about it right?

I detest looking at my mirror image these days.

Next week onwards. Starting my running routine again. Feeling fat. In fact I have pile on some weight. Boo. Not much of a worry thou. Gonna lose it from next week onwards. And train hard. Have to stop slacking. Probably lack of excercise recently. Making me feel... all negative inside.

Hopefully running will get me balance up.

The story of Kitty Kat.

2008-04-30T21:45:00.010+08:00

Once upon a time there was a kitty name Siti (Terrible terrible name), who was brutally tortured by her iniquitous owner.

Just look at that raw wound!

One day, the iniquitous owner had a prick on her conscious and decided to give Siti the Kitty Kat away. And as every story goes ... somehow, through a tedious and troublesome process Siti the kitty came along in my life.

First day at my house. Kitty Kat refused to budge.

Obviously, the first thing at hand was to give Kitty Kat a new name. I mean Siti is such a ludicrous name! I'm bad at giving names. Ended up sticking with MiuMiu. Inspired by Jessie. As she say,"Princess owner. Branded kitty." Hah!

So that was how Miu came along. Just like the way Polly came along.

She was leashed to a 'Gucci' collar during her stay at my place. Don't give me the looks. It was because she wasn't familar with the new environment and tried escaping many a times. My house was too open-concept. Worse of all, my naggy mom is a clean freak. 'Woman with the shrieking voice' wasn't too please with Miu too for shedding fur all over the house. Tsk Tsk.
Had no choice but to leave her outside the balcony. Praying that she will slowly get use to the environment and settle down, while I pathetically try to beg my mom to let her into the house.

Miu's characteristics.

She loves lying under the ladder.

And killed many innocent ants along the way.

Yoga is one of her favourite past time. All I can say is, she's one flexible kitty.

She ignores you and gives you her signature expression when you ask her to play dead. Bloody cat.

Though she refuses to play dead, she can be sooooooo adorable when she's in a really good mood too.

Miu loves being tickled under her chin. (Does Miss furball even have one?) Warning! Tickle her body and be prepared to have your fingers chewed on. I promise.

Cutest she is when she's asleep. (:

And now the climax of the story begans ...

One fine morning, I was woken from the din outside the balcony. Pissed, I dragged my half-dead whimpy body out of bed to check out what the commotion was all about.

Miu was gone.

I was in a state of shock. And gradually panic creeped within me. How on earth could she possibly unleashed herself. I mean yah, she's a really bright kitty, but I refuse to believe that she could have unleash herself somehow.

So the search began.

Frantically, I roam the entire block for Miu. Downstairs and the common kitty hideouts. But all my efforts were in vain. There was no sign of her. I still remember I was dreading to call cat lover Ms. J. How would she react upon hearing the news. Definitely she would think I was an irresponsible owner. Sighs. And as expected she wasn't really happy about it.

I was guilt stricken. Especially when it rains. I always wonder where she would seek shelter and food. Worse still her wound had not recover. And the msytery still remains unsolved. Who let the cat out of the bag or should I say house. Hmmmm.

Probably aroud a month later. Miu came back. She just appeared at my front gate one night. Just like this. Totally indifferent. And the thing that amazed me the most was, her wound was almost healed.

Miu the miracle kitty. (:

Immediately, I called Ms. J to share with her the joyful news. She being the cat lover she is, took a cab down to collect Miu over to her place. My naggy mom threw away all my kitty stuff. Arghh. And I guess when it all boils down, it's a wiser choice to send Miu to Ms. J place. It's like a kitty paradise back at her place. And no one loves their kitties more than she does. Ended up Ms. J brought Miu to the vet for a check up and realised that she had some fungal infection or something along that line. She had to shave all her fur away and was hospitalised for weeks. Poor Miu.

Hairless.

Not some kitty accessory. She had to put the collar on to prevent her from scratching her wound.

Ms. J is Miu's saviour. And so ... these days Miu is pretty happy there. Getting fatter. Naughtier. And as usual old habits die hard. Still as scheming as ever. Ms. J you have to whack her arse man, if she trys to sneak up on you again.

Miu has some new hobbies.

Some days she enjoys a tune or two.

And on rare occasions. She shows off her play dead skills.

Forgot to mention, she's a great poser too. I always think she looks really handsome.

Miu giving her signature expression when does not feel photogenic and you try to snap a shot of her.

Her frustrated look.

Just wait and see how scheming she can be on one of her bad mood days.

She attacks unknowingly.

Badddd kitty.

What goes around, comes around.

I'm glad Miu is all good now. Miracles do exist I guess.

A whiff of fresh air.

2008-04-28T22:06:00.003+08:00

Sniff Whiff Whiff Sniff~♥

I'm back.

Obviously very alive.

Hohoho.

Tired.

Not in a great mood.

Got to get up early tomorrow morning.

I need an isolation period.

Details of my dive trip shall be put at hold.

And stay tune for the story of how we all came about. One so amazing, you'll never sleep again.

Hmmm ...

The trail of Pockey begins.

2008-04-25T13:12:00.004+08:00

The very first trail.

I couldn't resist. (:

Though I'm still feeling rather throaty. I had to eat it. Or else it'll just hinder me in learning up my diving table. Hah. Couldn't concentrate with that cute box staring at me & most importantly the goody that lies within.

As I say, not only does smarties have the answer. Pockey does too.

Ever wonder how long one Pockey is?

A staggering 29cm~♥

And as everyone knows one is always never enough.
(God bless my throat.)

Last post for the week. Will been heading to Tioman this evening. As usual I have not pack a single shit. Haha. And my room will finally be cluttered free (to the approval of 'woman with the shrieking voice') cos' everything is going to be packed into my bag for the trip. Another option for those who needs to get rid of the mess in their rooms. Going for a trip will solve it. Hee.

It's really a mixture of nervousness and excitement for my dive trip. Hopefully everything turn out great. The descend, my airway squeeze clearance, the throaty issues and yeah basically... hopefully no crap happens. If it does...

Old man, I love you.
Naggy mum, I could have tried to love you more.
Fat skank, you should have sponsored my trip cos' that's like the last thing you could have done for me.
Richfag, give sexy back to me! Haha. Love you lots. I really do.
'Woman with the shrieking voice', really appreciate all that you've done. And honestly, I would probably feel pretty much empty up there without hearing your shrieky voice.

*(My last) Muacks to all.

Generally speaking. I guess you can say I really do love my 'unconventional' family very much.

Lastly, to all friends out there. You ~~suck!~~ ROCK!

Hahahahahahaahahaha.

P.s: Michelle.o. I'm missing you. Going to miss Kyle lots too. Hah! I like the name Kyle alot. >_

Quizzes and Whizzes on a lazy day.

2008-04-23T19:37:00.009+08:00

Quiz on demand. Haa!

7 random facts about me:
♥~ Usually I expect 100% returns to those I give out 100% to. (Though I know it doesn't go that way)
♥~ Never believe my online status.
♥~ Most of the time I do not like explaining myself.
♥~ I have a birth mark at my lower pelvis area, which I totally detest.
♥~ Somehow or rather I feel very uncomfortable when I'm all alone in an elavator with strangers. (20s feels like an hour to me, I'm not exaggerating.)
♥~ When I'm quiet. Thoughts are flooding my mind.
♥~ I love asking people questions I already have the answers to.

7 of my vices are:
♥~ I totally lose it (my temper) when I cannot find something I need immediately. (And I really mean lose it)
♥~ I love taking bites of food and not finishing it afterwards. >_ Can't help it.
♥~ When I desperately want something. I must have it.
♥~ Leaving my cups around the house.
♥~ Spending over my budget.
♥~ Misplacing my stuff. (Especially my keys.)
♥~ Wearing my shoes into the house. (Makes 'woman with the shrieking voice' really mad each time I do that. Aha.)

7 things that scares me:
♥~ Cockroaches
♥~ Horror movies.
♥~ Clowns.
♥~ Not being able to become as fair as I used to be again. (You can never imagine how much that scares me.)
♥~ This may sound cliché but death scares me.
♥~ People yelling at me in my face.
♥~ Blindness.

7 random music at the moment:
♫ So-Lo - Kate Havnevik
♫ Where We Gonna Go From Here - Mat Kearney
♫ Take Me Anywhere - Tegan & Sara
♫ When Did Your Heart Go Missing - Rooney
♫ Waiting On the World to Change - John Mayer
♫ Million Faces - Paolo Nutini
♫ The Time Is Now - Moloko

7 things I say the most:
♥~ "Eh where's my handphone ar!"
♥~ "Eh"
♥~ "What."
♥~ "Can you don't disturb me!"
(I say that at least 20 times a day to the old man in my house. Gawdd. o_o/)
♥~ "Gawdd."
♥~ "Miss me?"
♥~ "Eh. Someone help me take toilet paper can."

Off to mambo ~♥

P.s: Michelle.o. I can't copy the quiz on your page. Your blog disables right-click. Shit. Haha.

Diving days are here to ...

2008-04-21T13:09:00.010+08:00

Stay? Or Go?

Last week had been a hectic one. Due to my diving theory and pratical lessons. And it's diving not driving. Talking about driving. I was supposed to take my liscence this hols. But yeah. Going to give the best excuse around since christ birth - no time.

I'm totally burned out. Feeling feverish since I got back from the pool practical yesterday. I have diagnose myself with overall fatigue due to over straining and prolong exposure to heat. Seriously, under all that heat was a bonus killer.

First up we have the wet suit which was made out of a heat insulating material. The feeling was like donning a skin tight leotard that traps body heat. Terrible in Singapore's climate conditions. And like breathing was ever easy. It was all made worse when you're below ground level. The compressed air that we sucked through the mouth piece was also really dry. Pretty much hurt my throat sucking through it for the whole session. And there wasn't a water cooler at sight. So it was torturous having to bear with the soreness without a drop of water. When we headed off, I drank like a medium size orange juice, lemon tea, 1 mango puree dessert, 1 mango snapple and 1 litre of water when I got home. But the aftermath of it all is still persisting. Just that it includes feeling bloated now. Boo.

Next up, the heavy equipments. Just the tank itself weights a tonne man. We still have all the other equipments hanging around, like the regulator, BCD etc. Everything was just super bulky. The weight from all that becomes insignificant upon water entry. But the bulkness remains. And being a novice, I find it challenging to manoeuver around at ease. Probably that's why I felt so tired out after the practical. Using double of everything. Double concentration, double strength, double ... double whatever there is to be used.

Hopefully everything turns out alright for the actual dive trip. Only thing I'm worried is my ear squeeze clearance. The pool was only 2m deep. The depth we'll be going down at sea is 18m. 9 times deeper. Meaning more pressure to my ear drum. God bless me.

I aim to rehydrate my body. Thus, my morning refreshment regime begins.

That blackish fluid is the best thing you can ever get when you're down with a sore throat. Remember? Even singers swear by it. Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa. Brillant.
Can't wait to devour my strawberry Pocky at the background. Haha!

If you are jolly and you know it ... C'mon. Don't bother clapping your hands. That's so passé. Just drink Jolly Shandy.

The list goes on ...

And I'm getting sleepy.

Today's finale:

Say hi to my darling ~~"smelly"~~ blankey~♥

With blankey and Pockey on my bed. It just makes it all so tempting to join them down there.
Ciao.

P.s: Michelle.o. I got myself a Jolly Shandy. Can't believe you drank up almost the whole carton. Haha. Your cuttlefish is still surviving strong in my house. >_

A day of junk in my junkyard.

2008-04-19T10:28:00.008+08:00

Seen a junkyard before? If your answer is yes. Good for you. You'll be in familiar grounds. If your answer is no. Here. Take a look below. A great new eye-opener.

Junkies spewing all over the place in my cupboard.

Piles of clothes on the ironing board. Which I have not cleared for weeks since I got back from Redang. 'Woman with the skrieking voice' isn't very please about it. :p/

That's enough mess for today. Have not touch on the mess at my desk and room floor. Wouldn't want to do that too, projecting myself as a messy person. Generally I'm neat. What you have seen is a result of accumulation due to my lethargicness. Blame it on the blistering sun and humid weather conditions. It's simply draining every bit of my yin and yang. And when this happens, mess formation is inevitable. To break it down. The take home message is - When shit happens never blame yourself. Divert it away. Hope you guys learn something new today. Haha!

And to cool myself off from all that torridity.

Seedless green grapes! Must savour each and every one of them. That bowl of grapes cost me like $8. I got this feeling I was being rooked. o_o/

Looking forward to rowing training at 2~♥
But not looking forward to the heat at all. And the tan. And and ... urghh. Going to hunt for a long sleeve tee now.

Ending this off with a paragraph from the song I've been playing non-stop the whole morning.

Running through the monsoon
Beyond the world,
To the end of time,
Where the rain won't hurt
Fighting the storm,
Into the blue,
And when I loose myself I think of you,
Together we'll be running somewhere new
Through the monsoon.
Just me and you.

Great lyrics.

P.s: Michelle.o. You should know what song that is right. (: I'm lovin' it.

And yes they deserve the muscles.

2008-04-18T02:50:00.011+08:00

Ever gawk at the sight of muscles. Those broad shoulders acting like a skeleton layout for the whole chunk of lean muscle mass. Imagine... tone biceps and chest, abs that form a pack of 6 'man tou' (This time not soft, fluffy but a tad harder ;p). Not forgetting my favorite part of the male anatomy - the femoral portion of the iliopsoas muscle. In layman's term, the triangle cut that forms near the pelvis area. Swagg.

Just in case for those who are imaginatively inclined, here's some illustration.

Now that's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Don't mind him attempting to shield his face. Just being shy from all the limelight he is getting. Anyway, let's just call him Arnie. His surname is almost unpronounceable if you have not notice. If what you had in mind earlier on was something like Arnie up there. Please eradicate that image out of your head this instant. Bodies like Arnie's are too bulky and way blown out of proportion for my liking. Bet he can't even close his wings. Hmm.

What we are looking at today is more of something like this:

Everyone should know this good-looking, chiselled faced hottie. Marcus Schenkenberg. One of the world leading top male model. And here we go again. Yet another almost seemingly unpronounceable surname. Hah. Now, register marky's body in your head. That's what I'm talking about! Do I need to elaborate further. Just gawk people, gawk!

Finally, it touches my topic - "And yes they deserve the muscles." Sharing some knowledge with all. What does Arnie and Marky have in common. If you have deduce that the answer is muscles or anything along that line. Then, boy are you so wrong. What a superficial break down. Shame on you.

The history of Arnie and Marky and how they developed those bulging packs (though of different make up) - They once worked as furniture movers'. Yes. Don't bother rubbing your eyes. You're not seeing it wrongly. Furniture movers'. And everyone wonders how they managed to develope such a great bod. Researches have proven that moving furniture is a fantastic whole body work out. The secret is out. Start moving those furniture people. And if you're wondering where to start. Just take a look around you now.

I've started mine. First item to greatness.

My might soon-to-be sofa bed. It ain't a feather affair I tell you. I vouch for it myself. Could feel those muscles of mine pumping. And least to say, I almost got myself killed carrying it. If I were to describe how heavy it was. I will say as heavy as an elephant. Just the way my mama use to teach me back then.

So now do you agree that they deserve the muscles. We're talking carrying "elephants" here man. Hell yeah.

Lastly, ending off this muscular post with an ever so lasting catch phrase.

"Hasta la vista baby. I'll be back."

Fei Fei Wanton Mee will really make me "fei(2)".

2008-04-17T02:00:00.007+08:00

Got back from supper not long ago. Fei Fei's Wanton Mee. Gawdd. Simply going to pile on the weight I've lost if this carries on. Not that I'm being cynical. But some times I think my friends are just plain poisonous. Tempting me with such treats. Sub-consciously making me fat. HAHA. Okay, shan't continue ranting about it. Or else I'll get threats soon. A familiar one like being dumped out of the car along the expressway. Now, I wouldn't want such a thing to happen. Peace.

Something amusing to end this entry. Enjoy.

Amusing eh. Just shows how "creative" the human mind can be. Or should I say how 'bo liao'.

P.s: Whoever the artist was, didn't fail to ensure his viewers that passer-by A died before rolling into The Great White Shark's jaws. oh my my, what fine details he has offered us.

In any case you can't pin-point what the whole drawing is about. To put it plainly, it translates as so: Coconut drops from tree. Hits unlucky passer-by A on the head. Passer-by A dies on the spot from a concussion. Rolls down the sandy beach. Great White Shark happens to be on stand-by near the shore. And the story ends with passer-by A rolling into Great White Shark's awaiting jaws.

Brilliant illustration ey.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

I can't help but to amuse myself at times.

It all boils down to...

2008-04-16T18:43:00.008+08:00

When you just calm down, clear your mind for a minute and think through it all. It will probably just take you a second to realise that when it all boils down you were not suppose to breath out a word about it in the first place. Isn't it. End of story. What's the point going around pointing fingers, acting Sherlock Homles, trying to find out who was the one who let the cat out of the bag. Simply pointless, ain't it.

What left such a distaste in my mouth, was the fact that questions were thrown back at me. Brilliant eh. Hah. When one knows the truth and faces one that is trying to conceal it... everything just seems like a joke. And guess who turns out to be the fool.

Then again, I was thinking. Maybe it's my own fault for being indiscret with my own issues in the first place. Words get around fast in the same circle. I should have know better. Now, the tables are turned on me then. Who is to be blamed? Did I just slapped myself in the face. As much as we would like to face reality, at times it just hurts too much. It isn't really a biggie anyway. I'm starting to make a molehill out of a mountain. Am I? Guess this is what happens when you come across the same issue each time. It's just like an evil chain that goes round and round like a never-ending carousel. Break it or live with it.

I chose to break it.

Pardon my sarcasm and crudeness. This is just how it's suppose to be. Cheers? Hah.

When you kick the bucket make sure you kick it the right way.

2008-04-15T21:30:00.005+08:00

Just came back watching The Bucket List. Simply hilarious. Fantastic show. Have not catch such a nice one for a long time. (:

Funniest moment: (When Carter asked "Thomas" exactly which was his name.)
Carter: Is it Tommy or Thomas?
Thomas: It's Matthew, actually. He thought that was too biblical...
Okay, if you can't feel that. You're pardoned. Just have to watched it and witness the whole scenario to feel it. And the whole show was pratically filled with super witty conversations. Savour it! Probably to those who enjoy movies like RAWR, Alien vs Predator or maybe something like Balls Of Fury, shouldn't catch this film. Most likely the dialogue would be too profound to your level of understanding or should I say intelligence. haha. :p

(One of the) Funniest line:
Edward: What does a snail have to do to reincarnate? Leave the perfect trail of slime?

Best description:
Carter: Forty-five years goes by pretty fast.
Edward: Like smoke through a keyhole.

And lastly... the line I dig the most.
" We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round."

My sentiments exactly. The world stops for no one. Not even if the sky was to fall.

I WANT my white-ness back!

2008-04-15T11:14:00.014+08:00

" I look like some chocolate man. Badly burned!!!! I wanna be white again. Like glow in the dark or a piece of white trash." Quoted off Rich.

Just the thing off my mind minus the 'piece of white trash' part. Hah. Seriously, I want to be like glow in the dark. Not like literally glowing in the dark. But yeah. People who know how fair I used to be would understand my point. My tan now does not go with my hot pink nails. Call that a bimbotic statement and laugh your arse off. But I'm still going to say it,"My tan now does not go with my hot pink nails!!"

Talking about bimbotic statement. It urges me to say this. Why is it so that guys can go on and on and on about cars and how the seat does not go with the dashboard or how the rims could be a nicer colour or replaced with a 'better' one but when a girl mentions that her blouse does not go with her jeans or how her shoes doesn't match her outfit... Guys upon hearing that never fail to give their "classic" look - roll their eyes like pratically one full round and with a slight shake of their head... oh ya, not forgetting that irritating smirk on their faces to end it off. Obviously, they think talking about how one outfit matches or mismatches is simply an act of bimbotic-ness. I beg to differ. It's just differences in interest, isn't it. Commenting on cars on the road, talking about their own cars and what they're going to change next with that glimp of excitment in their eyes just simply translates himbo in our eyes. Furthermore, like 80% of the time they are just making far-fetch comments. Cos' in reality they can't afford to do anything. Thus, it all boils down to empty talk. Turning out to be a waste of time afterall. BOOOO!!

I'm straying. Haha.
Ending of with a before and after pict of me. For all to judge how freaking tan I am now. And support me that I should be paranoid about it. ;p

BIG difference right! Paranoidal sinking in. Gawdd.

P.s: That's my bestie on the left. Michelle.o. (:
We are of the same colour now. Same height too. Just give me a few more months to be the same weight okay. (>_ Aha!!

Bye bye Johnny Depp. Hello pain.

2008-04-14T12:08:00.004+08:00

Just completed my morning workout, while waiting for the world to wake up. Rise and shine people. Okay to be more specific - rise and shine michelle.o. Hah.

Today's morning workout wasn't intentional. It all happen when I was dragged out of my beauty sleep by my maid. Which was such a pity, given the fact I was having a morning cuppa with Johnny Depp at that time. All of sudden, I heard this "Vroooooom Hrrmmmmm" sound.. the vacuum cleaner. Follow by this shrieking voice,"Eh eh eh!! Wake up already! I want to clean the room." And pooofff, there goes Johnny Depp. Just great. Hate it when she shrieks. Gawdd.

Drowsily and very much unwillingly got up from my bed. x_x Made my horrible tasting chocolate "milkshake".. gulpped it down and flopped myself on the couch. Begin reminiscing with my dream earlier on. However, I was once again interrupted by the 'woman with the shrieking voice', "Eh eh eh. Go and vacuum your room . Then I can just mop later. You like paralyze you know." Yeah man, thanks for pointing that out.

Lazing on the couch, I was hesitating if I should get up and do 'woman with the shrieking voice' a favour. My conscious got the better of me. Though it's really quite an unforgivable sin to have woken me up from my morning cuppa with Mr Depp. Was thinking she still have to wash the clothes and stuff and anyways the world is still asleep. So yeah. Got my arse up and grabbed the culprit that was also involved in the 'wake Cheryl up plan". Vacuumed my room.

Now you must be thinking so that was the morning workout. No no no. After perspiring from all that vacuuming. I was sort of thinking might as well do some workout and shower later. I mean it's like the one stone kill two bird theory. Since I'm already perspiring, might as well perspire more and shower. How brillant. (: So, morning workout consisted of 50 push-ups, 110 'bye-bye butterfly' weight lifts and 1500 skips with my $2 skipping rope. (Fitness is cheap I tell you.) Would have gone for a run if my trackies were with me.

Waiting for michelle.o to get up now. Need to plan my day. Either go over her place to visit my god-children and catch Step Up 2 or hit the gym for a run.

It's raining! ~♥

Michelle.o. What's up with you and your recent anime craze. Haha. You have to stop it. I always feel forsaken when it happens. (>_

I refuse to admit.

2008-04-14T02:02:00.005+08:00

Age is catching up with me. Though I badly refuse to admit this fact. Hah!! My lower back is aching like mad from sitting the whole day. And my eyes are sore from staring at all the tiny html codes and pain stakingly editing each part by trail and error. Wasn't the case when I was 16? 17? Aha. Whateverrr.

Anyways, glad that I've managed to complete editing my blog on the whole. Shall get down with the nitty gritties as I go by. Virgin post of the day. Going to keep it short and sweeeeeeet. Actual fact - I'm drained.

Thanks Mich for the help with some of the html stuff. Seriously man, I think I suck at coding more than you.